Sports is the One True Religion

Pray Ball!

Sports is the one true religion in the US. Other so-called religions have ossified towards cult and lost their meaning and purpose. Sports took over the space that in centuries past was served by religion. Now what we call religion is merely a tool for political fundraising and a sword in culture wars. I propose we abandon these false, harmful religions in favor of the one true religion: Sports.

Sports provides tribal identity that transcends class, national origins, language, generations, politics, and 'classic' religions. The traditional identity markers supplied by those are ultimately divisive as they point out that even though we are humans, we are in some way in opposition to each other. The Sports identity markers are, on the other hand, uniting: even if we root for different teams or athletes, we are united in the spirit of Sports.

Sports brings us myths and heros. Sports lifts our spirits and shows triumph over adversity. Sports is an equalizer for the culturally and economically downtrodden. Like former religions, Sports shows that if we are righteous in our pursuits and disciplined in our training, we will be redeemed, except that with Sports, this redemption is not in some imaginary land of the dead, but now - and if we aren't redeemed by results, we are redeemed just by taking the path.

Sports gives us commandments - thou shalt not cheat, thou shalt respect players, thou shalt respect authority (insofar as authority respects the rules), thou shalt remain faithful to Sports, thou canst partake of all Sports and make new ones, etc.

Sports is way better as a religion than all other so-called religions. It's humanistic. It doesn't punish you for picking a different team. It rewards deeds over words. It punishes those no longer worthy. It unites more than it divides. Winning and losing are practically the same, as both are in the service of Sports and its Spirit.

Sports respects science.

You don’t have to pretend to love Sports, you can just merely like Sports - or not have any feelings about it. You can like sports and then decide not to, and all it'll elicit is a shrug.

You can have deep and detailed conversations about Sports; argue over philosophies, approaches, statistics, heros, and villains, and leave without feeling like you’ve lost all faith in humanity.

Forget all the other idols and gods. Leave your "G*d" in the pages of that one book or the other.

Sports is better. In Sports We Trust.